EFT Cafe – Oct 12th – Are You Shoulding On Yourself?

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Should:
Verb:
1. Used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticising someone’s actions: “he should have been careful”.
2. Indicating a desirable or expected state: “by now students should be able to read”.

How many shoulds, musts, have-tos do you have in your life?
Are they helpful?

A should is an external expectation on your behaviour.

Shoulds abound: “He should tidy up his bedroom.” “You should treat me with more respect.” “I should get to work on this report.”

Shoulds can come from others or ourselves as an ‘encouragement’ or ‘demand’ that we do something. However, you may have noticed that the things you should are often the hardest to get done even when you want to do them.

In this EFT Cafe will show you how to undo some of these old shoulds that are no longer working for us with things that we want to do and are motivated to do without the burden of the expectations of ourselves and others.

Shoulding can be a large part of procrastination so if you have a to-do list that is full of mysteriously unfinished items bring it along so that you can use the processes demonstrated to “unshould” the list and make it much more likely that you will complete it.

This EFT Café is on Weds 12th October from 7pm-9pm at St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne. The cost for this workshop is just £10.

Image courtesy of Linda H


EFT Café – Meet The Blockers – Thursday 15th September

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Have you ever had goals that you just can’t quite get started on (or finish)? Goals or plans that should be easy to attain but somehow you just keep putting it off, or getting in your own way.

If so, you have met The Resistance – a collection of internal barriers or limiting beliefs that get in your way success.

Fortunately it is easy to work with limiting beliefs using EFT. Unfortunately they can be very difficult to spot. Like strong tidal currents they are often not visible on the surface but can work below the surface to drag you off course or even stop you in your tracks.

In the September EFT Café Andy Hunt will demonstrate a simple, two-part process for uncovering a wide range of limiting beliefs and show you how to use EFT to dissolve those beliefs once they have been found.

This EFT Café is on Thursday 15th September from 7pm-9pm at St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne. The cost for this workshop is just £10.

Please note: Because of a booking clash at the Hospice Teaching Centre we are running this EFT on Thursday night rather than the usual 2nd Wednesday of the month. The EFT Cafe will return to its usual Wednesday slot in October.

Image courtesy of Numinosity (Gary J Wood)


EFT Cafe – July 13th – The Belief Flip

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In this month’s EFT Cafe Andy Hunt will demonstrate a new approach he created for rapidly dissolving limiting beliefs.

The Belief Flip is a simple EFT process for neutralising many types of limiting beliefs quickly and easily.

One such limiting belief might be: “I will always be poor”.

In standard EFT you could use several approaches to soften or neutralise this belief:

  • Persistent tapping on the belief statement to reduce the charge over time.
  • Investigate the events that led up to the formation of this belief, neutralising each memory with the movie technique until the belief has collapsed.
  • Use some clever reframing in your tapping to verbally loosen the belief’s hold.

The Belief Flip is a simple reframing pattern that you can use on many types of belief. It will typically neutralise the belief with just one or two rounds of tapping. It might take a little bit of effort to fully ‘get’ the pattern at first, but it is worth it.

This process works by stretching the limiting belief so far out of shape during the tapping that it can not come back into its original form. It works well with beliefs that involve permissions and black and white thinking.

Join Andy Hunt at 7pm on Wednesday 13th July at the EFT Cafe in St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle to learn how to use this simple process neutralise your limiting beliefs. (You will need some experience of EFT to participate in this event.)

The cost of this evening is just £10
Image courtesy of JB London


EFT Cafe – June 8th – EFT For A Pain In The Neck

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There is an old saying that most of our problems in life talk back.
– Brian Tracy

In an ideal world we would all get along just fine. People would be agreeable and reasonable, and we would be able to be resourceful and direct in our dealings with them.

Unfortunately, in the real world people can be very hard work to be with, or, to be more accurate, our reactions to these people can be very hard work.

Perhaps it is the way they look at us that sets us off, or the tone of their voice, or the way we think they think about us.

In the June EFT Cafe we will use a simple process to disconnect our unhelpful reactions to other people and develop a more resourceful and understanding way of being with them.

This process is useful in all aspects of daily life. dealing with our reactions to friends and family, coping with difficult colleagues, managers or subordinates, or just getting along better with people.

If you are a professional people helper: counsellor, coach, medical professional, teacher, therapist or social worker this process can be useful for working with difficult clients, patients or pupils.

Join Andy Hunt at 7pm on Wednesday 8th June at the EFT Cafe in St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle to learn how to use this simple process to deal with your reactions to difficult people. (You will need some experience of EFT to participate in this event.)

The cost of this evening is just £10
image courtesy of Reportergimmi


EFT: Problem Relief From The Outside In

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One of the problems with problems is that we are often stuck in them.

There are often a whole complicated set of circumstances that make some sort of solution or different perspective very difficult for us to know what to do, or even where to start.

As someone once said: “If you are stuck in the jar it’s difficult to read the label.”

Fortunately there is a way for us to ‘step out’ of a problem long enough to bring some EFT to bear on what is going on. From the outside looking in it’s possible to work on the feelings we are feeling in that situation, what other people are doing and how we are reacting and even on the situation itself which is quite different to using EFT from the inside of any difficulty.

There are several advantages to this approach:

  • From the outside looking in you can get a much better perspective of what is going on.
  • From a distance we can be less caught up in the difficulty and less distressed that we would be on the inside of the problem
  • You can tap on many aspects of the problem not just the your part of it.
  • It’s simple, you don’t need any special EFT skills or fancy wording, the approach uses straightforward awareness of the problem and tapping nothing fancy is required.

This approach is suitable for dealing with all sorts of everyday problems: sticky situations at work, difficult family relationships, and other uncomfortable predicaments.

Join Andy Hunt at 7pm on Wednesday 11th May at the EFT Cafe in St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre to learn how to use this simple process to deal with awkward situations. (You will need some experience of EFT to participate in this event.)

The cost of this evening is just £10
image courtesy of threefingeredlord


EFT Cafe – April 13th – Working With The Resistance

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Do you recognise these two predicaments?

  1. You find a thousand ways of not starting an important task.
  2. You start a task and find a thousand ways not to finish it.

As you try to make progress with your important goals you get the urge to do something else, anything else, to take you away from your tasks.

Suddenly sorting your socks, sharpening your pencils or tidying your desk becomes an essential necessity, much more important that what you are supposed to be doing.

If you recognise these scenarios you are familiar with ‘The Resistance’ the sometimes unconscious inclination to stop us from putting ourselves out there and getting things done.

In this EFT Cafe, Andy Hunt demonstrates a way of tackling the resistance using EFT and metaphor to soften that resistance so we can get on and do what is important.

The EFT Cafe is on Wednesday 13th April from 7pm-9pm at St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Gosforth. The cost is just £10.
If you suddenly think that you need to sort your socks or sharpen your pencils on that day then this mini-workshop is for you.

Image courtesy of Know Malta with Peter Grima


Reforming Your Inner Critic – March 9th

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Do you recognise yourself in any of these statements?

  1. I wake up at night worried about the mistakes that I made the day before.
  2. I replay conversations after I’ve had them to see what I’ve done wrong.
  3. When I’m with other people, I wonder if they’re critical of me. 
  4. I’m afraid that there’s something basically wrong with me. 
  5. I wonder what other people would think of me if they really knew what I was like underneath. 

If you do, then you probably have a well developed inner critic at work.

In this month’s EFT Café,  Andy Hunt will show you how to use a new EFT based technique to soften your inner critic. He will guide you step by step through a process that uses imagination, metaphor and tapping to reform an inner critic so it can either retire or become a supportive advisor.

The process is quite simple but requires a good understanding of EFT, you will need to have completed at least an EFT Level 1 training to attend this event.

Unlike most other EFT Cafes you must register for this event there are only 12 places available. Please contact me using the form on the front page to book your place.

This workshop is on March 9th, 2011 at St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle. It costs just £10

Important: If you answered a definite yes to all of the above it is possible that you have a very strong inner critic which may seriously impact on your life. This two hour workshop is not intended as a substitute for personal therapy. Please take responsibility for your own well-being and use your own judgement when attending. If you would like to see my privately to work on these issues please get in touch.


Getting Permission To Be Who You Want To Be

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Many years ago, famous psychologist, C G Jung proposed that we were forced by upbringing, or experience, to conceal important aspects of ourselves to get along with those around us.

Those aspects and capacities were hidden away in what he called The Shadow, the part of the psyche where all the disowned parts of ourselves are put away.

It’s not just the negative aspects of ourselves we need to conceal, many of our positive possibilities were pushed into the shadow to get along with our care givers and friends.

As children we enter the world as little bundles of energy, noise and enthusiasm. As part of our socialisation process we learn that there are some things we can and can’t feel.

For example, most children are often exuberant, excited and determined to speak, this can be troublesome to their parents in certain situations.

In an effort to make their children more acceptable to themselves and other people they restrict or even punish displays of enthusiasm and outspokenness. For the child feeling exited becomes a forbidden feeling, it’s just not allowed and has to be suppressed.

Unfortunately for us many of the things we learn in childhood follows us into later life limiting our range of movement. Our old permissions are one of these limitations.

As an adult perhaps would like to feel more excited, enthusiastic and alive but for some reason it seems difficult – almost as if it wasn’t allowed.

There may be many things your are ‘not allowed’ to do

  • I’m not allowed to be enthusiastic
  • I’m not allowed to say what I think
  • I’m not allowed to be happy
  • I’m not allowed …

In February’s EFT Cafe we will identify areas in permission has been denied to us and use a simple and quick tapping routine to release those old bonds and give us permission to think and feel as we wish.

The EFT Cafe is on Wednesday February 9th between 7pm and 9pm at St Oswald’s Hospice, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne and costs just £10. You need some experience of EFT to attend this event.

Picture courtesy of Richard Cocks


Gratitude Tapping

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Reflecting on the good things in our lives or cultivating a sense of gratitude is advice as old as the hills and the sages who lived in them. There is now good evidence that cultivating gratitude has a large number of mental (and physical) health benefits.

In one study more than 400 volunteers took part in the following exercise:

Three good things in life: Participants were asked to write down three things that went well that day and their causes every night for a week. In addition they were asked to provide a causal explanation for each thing.

After just one week of doing these exercises they were followed up for six months. Those who ‘counted their blessings’ in this way for just one week became happier and less depressed and stayed that way for at least six-months after the experiment.

In the first EFT Café of 2011 Andy Hunt how to use EFT to deepen your experience of gratitude. This workshop goes way beyond a simple gratitude list using EFT to tap into the deep good feelings that lie beneath the things you are grateful for.

The EFT Café meets on Wednesday January 4th between 7pm and 9pm at St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne. The fee is just £10.

You will need some practical experience of EFT to attend this workshop. 

Image courtesy of vistamommy


Tapping Into Your Shadow

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Many years ago, famous psychologist, C G Jung proposed that we were forced by upbringing, or experience, to conceal important aspects of ourselves to get along with those around us.

Those aspects and capacities were hidden away in what he called The Shadow, the part of the psyche where all the disowned parts of ourselves are put away. He thought that we expended a lot of energy mistakenly fighting or suppressing the Shadow.

Although the Shadow contains what we were taught to be ashamed of or not allowed to express, these qualities correctly used can become a source of great power and strength to us. In fact they can be just what we need to deal with what life is presenting us.

One of the ways the  Shadow shows itself is through projection, which is judging the qualities that we have suppressed in ourselves but are displayed by others. This annoyance can tell us what resource we may have available to us if only we can get it.

In November’s EFT Café, Andy Hunt will introduce you to Shadow Work with EFT so that you can use the tell tale signs of the Shadow to bring what has been hidden to light and transform it with EFT into a great resource

The November EFT Café is on Wednesday, November 10th from 7pm to 9pm and costs just £10.

You will need some experience of EFT to attend this workshop

Image courtesy of doogan82